A New Kind of New Year’s Resolution List

This is an unusual list of New Year’s resolutions for an unusual year. You’ll find nothing here about weight loss, career success, or closet organization. You’ll find no “should.” This New Year’s resolutions list is full of achievable goals that you will WANT to do that will bring you joy and/or connection—two things we all need more of right now. “Joy” and “connection” might not be as easy to measure as pounds you lost or money you made, but they are just as important. (More so?) And they don’t just happen—you need to cultivate them. 

Think of these as winter resolutions instead of year-long resolutions. Because who knows what the world will look like or what we will need come spring and summer. Let’s start with getting through the winter as best as we can. 

Here’s to a joyful 2021 full of connection. 

46 Ways to Encourage a More Joyful New Year— A New Year’s Resolution List

SURPRISE & DELIGHT FRIENDS & FAMILY MEMBERS

1. Say thank you with coffee. Every Friday, Choose Your Struggle podcast host Jay Shifman sends someone $5 on Venmo, which he calls “Friday Coffee on Jay.” Then he posts about that person on his Instagram stories to highlight why they deserve praise. 

2. Mail a mantra. My former boss Dana Cowin (formerly the Editor in Chief of Food & Wine) started a project this year in which she asks people three questions (what do they wish for, what do they need, what do they want to hold onto for the future that they've learned in 2020) and then she paints a mantra for them and mails it. “It's been insanely gratifying,” she told me. 

3. Try your hand at writing just one gratitude letter. Feels good, right? Then might I suggest…  

4. Launch your own Thank You Year! You don’t need to write 365 thank you letters like I did—perhaps one per week or one per month sounds more reasonable? In any case, I’d love to help you decide who to write to and show you how to write meaningful notes. My book comes out April 13, 2021—you can preorder here—and my email inbox and DMs are always open. Sign up for my bimonthly newsletter and you’ll get a sample chapter in your inbox.  

TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH IN A PLEASANT WAY

5. Hydrate more with really delicious seltzer or herbal tea. 

6. Go to bed earlier. Flannel sheets can help. 

7. Practice yoga by candlelight. 

8. Take Vitamin D daily—especially in the winter, at a time when you’re encouraged to stay home. 

9. Go on one walk a day (even when it’s cold), and invite a masked-up friend.

LEVEL UP YOUR BIRTHDAY GAME

10. Write down the birthdates of your friends, family members, and their kids. I have a leather book for this purpose, but you could keep the list online. Find a system you’ll stick to. 

11. Mark birthdays with a call instead of a text.

12. Or send a birthday card! (Nicely Noted is a fun subscription that sends three gorgeous cards a month—a mix of special occasion and blank cards. Now I always have cute birthday cards at the ready.) 

REACH OUT TO YOUR PEOPLE

*13. Text someone the moment you think of them, and share specifics of what you were thinking. Don’t wait. This takes 8 seconds and spreads joy.

14. Send a Marco Polo video to a friend, if Zoom meet-ups are starting to dwindle. It’s a no-pressure, no-scheduling-needed way to communicate. 

15. Send a Marco Polo video while wearing a sheet mask because it’s funny. And, you’re keeping up your friendships while self-caring for your face. Win-win. 

16. Ask someone you love “Are you okay?” Maybe someone who lives alone or who has little kids? 

CHANGE YOUR BUYING HABITS

17. Buy less. Courtney Carver of Be More With Less is my favorite less-is-way-more guru. Her site has all kinds of resources to help strip away the excess and live a simpler, more meaningful life. I love her three-month minimalist fashion challenge Project 333. 

18. Buy local. Can you give up Amazon and other big-box store purchases for a full month, and shop at local stores instead? I belong to a Facebook group that shares intel for which local stores stock random stuff (recent posts helped users find Topo Chico, pipettes, birdhouses and “neckties for a preteen.” I admire what ShopIn.NYC is trying to do: make it easy to shop local stores instead of Amazon. 

19. Buy nothing. See if your town has a branch of Buy Nothing, which acts as a place to quickly purge your stuff and collect treasures that others are ready to pass along. Normalize second-hand!

*20. Give it away. Look for ways during the year to give your time and resources to causes you care about. I'm currently raising money for food rescue City Harvest, which has been heroically working around the clock to feed food insecure New Yorkers. (In January, my kids and I will be writing thank you notes to contributors on homemade postcards!) 

GO DEEP ON SOMETHING YOU LOVE

21. Read up on a creature or tree or plant in your own backyard. I spent the summer in the Berkshires and got interested in dragonflies, and learned that one kind can fly across oceans.  

22. Fall in love with an artist’s work and purchase a piece—or set a goal for purchasing one someday. (After years of admiring George Byrne’s angular photographs I bought a print and his book. I also own two gorgeous paintings by my friend Chloe Weiss Galkin, and I was the luckiest to have my book illustrated by Kelly Lasserre. Also, I am in love with Calida Rawles’s luminous paintings.) 

23. Read one poem a day. You can’t go wrong with Mary Oliver. 

LEARN SOMETHING NEW THAT FEELS GOOD

24. Finally try your hand at meditating. If not now, when? Cory Allen is an excellent guide. 

25. Learn to give yourself DIY manicures. (I succumbed to Insta ads for this kit and I am not sorry.)

CREATE ART

26. Sit alongside kids and join them while they color or paint. (Kids not necessary to create bad art.)

*27. Make postcards out of old photographs and send them to friends. Just slap a 4x6 mailing label on the back of a photograph. Voila, instant postcard.

FIND EASY JOY WITH A MICRORESOLUTION

28. Take more baths. (Upgrade with this bath salt if you’d like—but Epsom salt works great, too.) 

29. Read more mysteries. (If you haven’t read Tana French, start with her first and, I think, her best. I stay up late reading with this book light.)

30. Listen to fun podcasts that don’t teach you anything (try this one).

31. Sign up for fun newsletters that only teach you about celeb gossip (I recommend Gossip Time). 

32. Download an audiobook that will make you laugh (this one had me truly lol).

33. Plant tulip bulbs (soon) and imagine what the world might be like once they bloom. 

RELIVE THE PRE-COVID GOOD TIMES

*34. Think back to a trip you took. Brainstorm the people who made it great and how they helped. Write thank you notes to those people. (Great news: There is no statute of limitations on a gratitude letter like this.) 

*35. Think back to a restaurant you miss. Is there someone there you know, the host or a bartender perhaps? Write them a note! Or, write a note to the whole staff. And, treat yourself to a meal from there—takeout if it makes you more comfortable.

CELEBRATE THE COVID SILVER LININGS

*36. Write thank you notes to neighbors who showed up for you in 2020. Include local stores who delivered goods to your door and reinvented their business models to stay afloat and continue serving you. (The sample chapter you get when you sign up for my newsletter is about expressing gratitude to neighbors!)

37. Upgrade movie night with homemade popcorn in popcorn boxes. 

38. Plan out dinners in a weekly planner like this one.

39. Ask kids their rosy and thorny parts of the day at family dinner. (If it’s good enough for the Obamas…)

40. Tackle a baking project every weekend. 

CHOOSE A BOOK TO CLING TO  

41. Read Life is in the Transitions to learn how difficult times can lead to beautiful change and shape people’s characters.

42. Document these crazy times in a journal. Feelings, too. Leaning into self-reflection can help. 

43. Cook your way through a cookbook to feel accomplished in a low-lift way. (Cannelle Et Vanille or Dining In maybe?)

BE KINDER TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS 

44. Work on a kinder inner dialogue. Choose a term of endearment for yourself and try using it. “Good job, honey.” “We can do this, babe.”

45. Treat telemarketers like people. Be more like my husband and say things like, “Oh, thank you for calling. I won’t be needing that. Happy New Year.”

46. Pledge to be as kind as possible to as many people as possible. 2021 has so much promise. But first, we need to get through this dark, scary winter. Let’s all pledge to find ways to make it lighter and less scary for each other.

Identify the people, habits and art that bring you joy, and find ways to strengthen those connections. That commitment alone will make the new year your most meaningful one ever. (That and the fact that it’s the one directly after 2020.)

*These resolutions correlate to chapters 6, 1, 8, 7, 2 and 3 of my book. Maybe pre-order it?